@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.
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@JasonLastname: My dentist recommended I sleep with a mouth guard, but I'm skeptical insurance even covers who I sleep with.
@MrSandeepP: Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?
@nbadag: DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTAL—IT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: were—were you not listening just now