@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.
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@BrickStoneNews: Do Russia and Uganda realize if they put all their gay people in jail then jail will become the nicest part of their country?
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead.