@DothTheDoth: Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
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@WheelTod: Major milestone today -- found my first grey pubic hair! But once I picked it out, the burger tasted pretty decent.
@purplefuzzygirl: I don't get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There's never any left when he comes home. Idiot.
@dave_cactus: MUGGER: *pulls out a knife* ME: *pulls out a jar of marmalade and two biscuits* MUGGER: Lovely.