@DothTheDoth: Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
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@jenyb4: Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.
@VeganZebra: [Noah from the Bible is doing laundry and his washer just starts spewing water] DEBORAH GET THE BOAT
@iwearaonesie: "This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down