@anbrll00: Hockey fights are cool but imagine the make up sex afterwards in the locker room.
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@Sickayduh: Professor: "Did you just show up drunk to my exam?" No way "Hungover then?" Nope "There's a lime wedge on your face"
@emmaberen: with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@stephenjmolloy: Job interviewer: "Why do you want to join the Secret Service?" Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."