@_wangwe: Hold the door for your girlfriend. Listen to the door. Tell the door everything will be okay. Leave your girlfriend for the door.
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@JoshuaFlail: My Pops told me that you can't go around trying to save everyone. They have to save themselves. He was a terrible lifeguard.
@PuncherJetpack: Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one
@TheBoydP: If it's so good why can't I find a single car wash that carries the Brazilian wax thingy you guys keep tweeting about?
@TheBoydP: When accused by a woman a man's first instinct is to deny. We're not lying, we're just buying time to remember what you're talking about...