@OBiiieeee: HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES
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@DaddyJew: Jesus:*turns water into wine Guy: thanks but I'm in AA, I'll just have the water J: *not knowing how to turn it back* well this is awkward
@TheRealRHB: Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace
@markydoodoo: Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself.