@jennyandteets: Holding a friend's phone for her. Just texted "put a ring on it" to five random male names. Stay tuned.
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@garrydavenport: "We've been doing this for years, I simply can't be bothered thinking up another long scientific name. Drink?" - people who named the fly.
@JasonLastname: How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?
@BadassBarbie11: Why don't they just use a 3 year old with a drum set as an enhanced interrogation technique?