@shutupmikeginn: [holding baby] haha oh whoa i thought he'd be slimey but he's really dry
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sickayduh: "Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say beautiful instead." "Fine. Can you pass me the beautiful sauce then?"
@UrbanDouchebag: Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women.
@ramblinma: No, officer, I haven't been drinking; my toddler just needed to hand me everything from the back seat.