@Roxtalled: Stovetop Directions:
1.) Use microwave.
@KingRainhead: me: i dont want any kids
person: *low chuckle* oh, you'll change your mind.
me: *grabs them by collar* tell me more about the future, wizard
@DaddyJew: *something breaks
Me: hand me my tools
7: call someone for help
Me: no
7 already on the phone: mom, he's trying to fix stuff again
@alextranquada: A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You’ve made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?
@lovemydogduck: Getting shit done. Was my response when my boss ask me what I'm doing. And now I'm sitting outside of H.R.
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