@PaperWash: *holds finger up and chews for like 8 minutes after aunt asks me how I've been*
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@QwertyJones3: I used to hate flying. I thought the plane would go down. But now I just bring my wife with me on the plane because my wife never goes down.
@elle91: I'm afraid my neighbors are starting to notice that I can't tell them apart but greet each of their dogs by name.
@Jake_Vig: ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box.