@fro_vo: *holds seashell to ear* new shell who dis
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@_xLNc: I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: "You always run faster with a knife".
@daemonic3: [bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish
@Home_Halfway: WHAT DO WE WANT?! Follow-up questions! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? OH HELL YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF
@girlontapas: Establish dominance by licking the spoon and then putting it back in the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner.