@primawesome: Hollywood hasn't remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they're okay.
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@LeviKabwato: Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure.
@caliluvgirl77: I love when my friends start selling weight loss shakes because that's one less person I ever have to talk to again.
@Shock_Monster: Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?
@PaperWash: [dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case