@ShesARealGenius: Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do.
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@elle91: If they ban straws, that means I can no longer flirtatiously blow the straw wrapper at my date and that is literally my only move.
@Jandalize: Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car.
@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
@funnyortruth: Friend : "I wasn't that drunk!" Me : "Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming "YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"