@CovertAgentP: Hollywood sets impossible standards we can never live up to. Not even once have I saved people from dinosaurs with my knowledge of Unix.
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@StatusInBeirut: If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: When she rips his shirt open in the movies, it's sexy and romantic. But when I try it, he's all "Your Pap smear is normal, but please don't do that with your toes every time".
@Voiceofgarth: WANTED: Call center workers with very weak english, poor communication skills and short temper needed for major bank. Bonus paid for low IQ.