@Spaziotwat: Holmes: "I say, old bean, is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Where do people go when they die? Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not? 3: It's full of dead people.
@EffdotEss: When you pick a name for your kid, type it in Microsoft Word first. If the red squiggly line shows up, please reconsider.
@LorieGZ: Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong.