@SortaBad: "holy crap....um guys?!" - the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon
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@withanewname: Her: *leaving seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Mgr: What'd she want? Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts?
@Travon: Flight attendant: "will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?" Me: "yes" In my head: "No we're all gonna die"