@VaguelyFunnyDan: Holy shit a street psychic just stopped me & said I'm a special person who cares deeply about some things & I'm freaking 'cause that's SO me
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@OBiiieeee: Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass.
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
@PaperWash: GF: I think I'm gunna start a Twitter account Me: *whips head around* I'll help you set it up! *Grabs GF's phone and hurls it into the Sun*
@Hypercraxy: I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy." Then I just wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.