@VaguelyFunnyDan: Holy shit a street psychic just stopped me & said I'm a special person who cares deeply about some things & I'm freaking 'cause that's SO me
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@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators
@tastefactory: BEN CARSON: On the news I saw a portal to another dimension open & robots came out, we need to stop that MODERATOR:That was The Avengers sir
@Brianhopecomedy: Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony.
@SirEviscerate: *re-dials* Hey girl, before I come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza?