@VaguelyFunnyDan: Holy shit a street psychic just stopped me & said I'm a special person who cares deeply about some things & I'm freaking 'cause that's SO me
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@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: Want to go out? Padmé: Ew. You’re 9. Anakin: Padmé: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same.
@LackOfShame: "How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?" - Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.