@chris_isloi: Holy shit, remember rhymes with September. If no one thought about putting that in a song, I'm gonna be rich.
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@imteddybless: when i tell guys i want a baby i just assume they kno i don't mean a human one. i want a baby antelope, a baby hedgehog, a baby lizard
@lyric_intent: [Broken Air Conditioner] Her:*sweaty* how did the pioneers ever survive without A/C? *sweating audibly* well, they're all dead, aren't they?
@goodhairperson: I've decided I want a sad funeral. None of this upbeat "celebration of life" shit. I want sobbing, ppl vomiting w grief, at least 2 suicides
@B_poling82: Hello, welcome to the evening news, where we're going to scare the shit out of you for 45 minutes, then weather & sports. Stay tuned.