@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious
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@bobvulfov: WAITER: how was everything ME: [rubbing belly] so delicious. thank u WAITER: great. please stop rubbing my belly
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’m a great dad, I’m just saying it’s a holiday weekend and I’m wearing cargo shorts with a Hawaiian shirt…
@missekay: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "supprt your local beaver" or maybe it said "support your local brewer" either way it's sound advice.