@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious
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@ThisLocalHater: To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?
@joeljeffrey: I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me.