@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious
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@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
@Pee_And_Giggles: 18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds.
@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.