@robfee: Home Alone would've been over in like 20 minutes if they were able to text.
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@SICKOFWOLVES: I JUST WANT A JOB WHERE I CAN SIT ABSOLUTELY STILL AND IF ANYONE DISTURBS ME I GET TO SCREAM
@LeslieInMpls: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 85,432 times, you're a weatherman
@stoneman67: I don't mind the thought of guardian angels watching over me. I just want them to stop giggling when I shower.
@atthecubicle: Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid.