@robfee: Home Alone would've been over in like 20 minutes if they were able to text.
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@form52: I hate it when restraining orders get in the way of meaningful relationships. Well played future wife. You win this round
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Was the island real or were they dead the whole time? Sony tech support: We can't answer that kind of TV question, sir.
@T_N_Crumpets: Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]