@1_swarthy_dude: Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle, the dad with the greater mustache has the right of way.
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@welfarehoe: STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE! I said STOP RUNNING! STOP RUNN.. YOU BETTER RUN YOU LITTLE SHIT!
@Jake_Vig: Some people rescued a great white shark that washed up on a beach, just like sharks would do for us if we were carried out into the ocean.
@seethenare: age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I "slept funny"