@TheTweetOfGod: Home is where the Wi-Fi is.
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@illTortuga: From now on, when you see the word "minimum", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.
@daniel_shaw: I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
@AbbyHasIssues: My one-woman show, “I Will Unstick These Freaking Grocery Carts If It Kills Me” is getting rave reviews from fellow shoppers.