@novicefather: "Homie don't fleek doe," I say to a group of teenagers, hoping it means something.
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@theshantilly: Him: Sometimes you can be a little... loud. Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM A DELICATE FLOWER
@Marlebean: I broke up with my boyfriend. He was such a jerk. What a goat! -Don't you mean pig? No. He tried to eat my couch!
@RealFartShady: I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended.
@thesulk: Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night.