@brunopieroni: Homophobia is stupid. Who the hell is afraid of homes.
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@wittwitbarista: With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.
@IamEnidColeslaw: shoutout to Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations about love, talking animals and my singing voice
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@Manda_like_wine: Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.