@YahooAnswersTXT: Homosexuals please help me. I think my hamsters are gay. How do I let them know it's okay?
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@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
@ruinedpicnic: J.K. Rowling: "Theres actually a goat with Harry Potter the entire time, its just never mentioned or does anything."
@TheWadest: Somewhere, a ninja watches "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." An imperceptible smile creeps across his lips. "Damn right you didn't."
@joejwest: DATE: I'm leaving ME: Why? D: You keep pretending to be a bat M: I don't D: You're doing it right now [a single tear rolls up my forehead]