@slimmy_shady: Honest ads - 'Hot singles in your area want to be just friends'. 'Hot singles in your area think of you more like a brother'.
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@weinerdog4life: The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms and the 8th amendment gives us the right to horse legs
@ericsshadow: For sale: $300 King size mattress & box spring, 6 mo old, Never had sex on it, not even once. IDK ask her.
@upsidedowntrash: Link: [plays 'Song of Time'] Zelda: No no that's all wrong! There's no E in that melody. Link: [plays 'Song of Tim']
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My heart goes out to all the parents who are about to see how much weight their kids have gained at college during the Thanksgiving break.