@YoungNobler: Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate
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@AristotlesNZ: Txt my wife to ask if the gardener came & how 5yo's 1st day of school was. She txt back "He's naked on the couch". I'm afraid to ask who..
@notorious_stars: When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the "is"s to "was"s on their Wikipedia page?
@PaperWash: Last minute gift idea: Give someone a bucket of water and tell them your sorry their ice sculpture melted