@Miciura: Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to return something that you've already worn.
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@TheMichaelRock: I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run.
@daemonic3: DOCTOR: I have some bad news. You have HIV ROMAN: What?! DOCTOR: Do you have any questions at this time? ROMAN: Yes, wtf is H4?
@primawesome: A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?
@causticbob: My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore.