@therepoguy: "Honey, can you bring me a
roll of toilet paper?"
Toilet paper- "I have a boyfriend"
@koalaslament: I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony.
@Mr_Kapowski: *guy looks around to see if anyone is looking*
*sees the coast is clear, licks tree*
And that's how they found out about maple syrup
@KKAlThani: If you listened to your heart please speak to a doctor cause it's isn't normal for a piece of meat to be speaking to you
@CulturedRuffian: No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I'd just go visit my family.
@tsm560: I was all set to seize the day but this anti-seizure medication is a lot stronger than I thought.