@Thynebear: Honey I Shrunk the Kids : A Beginner's Guide to Steroid Use
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@my_minivan_life: Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.
@Smug_Lemur: Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom.
@LindaInDisguise: Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk.