@Thynebear: Honey I Shrunk the Kids : A Beginner's Guide to Steroid Use
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@GingerHotDish: I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married.
@HabeasDorkis: I don't wear sunglasses because it's unfair that a photon travels 93 million miles and then when it's an inch from my eye I'm all "um, no."
@blopt: My parents are middle aged. "Mine are to-" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] "CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"