@Matt_The_1st: "Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"
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@HeyoShellz: 4: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT Me: Stop yelling violent things 4: *whispers* I'm gonna rip your eyeballs out
@Chumpstring: client: i’m nervous attorney: relax prosecutor: the defendant is guilty attorney: oh my god [looks at client] client: what attorney: you said you were innocent
@Cheeseboy22: 7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.