@Matt_The_1st: "Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jake_likes_naps: [in hospital] son: what happened dad me: bar fight son: over what? me: he said... *clenches fists* he said Zelda is a boy
@Brampersandon_: A new study finds that chicken isn't as healthy for you as once thought. "Just don't ask to see our data" clucked one feathered researcher.
@jackiembouvier: I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it.
@GibJimson: If you say "I knew you were going to say that" enough. You can start billing people for psychic readings.