@AComicTragedy: Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you'd like to meet Him.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast"] me:Good
@werehedgehog: - How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?
@Zombie_Kitv2: Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert.
@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.