@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
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@SteveSuckington: When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
@shariv67: People used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a standup comic. Well, no one's laughing now. Wait.