@heymonroe: Hope I'm never tortured, because I just pulled a hangnail off my finger and now this entire restaurant knows my pin number.
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@Cheeseboy22: Since Monopoly replaced its tiny iron, the talking mice in my walls now all have wrinkled shirts.
@Parentpains: My wife and I play trivia pursuit a lot, it's where she ignores me until I correctly guess what I did wrong.
@NotJPo: Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go.
@Ristolable: Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way.