@junejuly12: Hope there is a particularly fiery spot in hell for anyone capable of losing a dog in an enclosed dog park.
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@Fred_Delicious: [Describing guy who just mugged me to sketch artist] "He was literally kermit the frog"
@david8hughes: [sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming
@thetits: Nice empty fish tank It'd be a shame if someone were to FILL IT WITH SNAKES! *the terrarium is invented*