@Mindless4Miles: Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum.
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@Nikkeya08: We're just two people shitting in side by side stalls waiting for the other person to go out so we don't have to show our face
@shelbyfero: My safe word is "keep going." It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!
@KrazykurtKurt: Job interview: "what would you say is your biggest achievement is to date" "I once wore a hat to bed and it was still on in the morning"
@Sir_Strange: *goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work.