@mdob11: Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhosTheresa: I could've had a kid with a heroin addiction but Noooo. Instead my kid wants to join a Christian rock band.
@chris_isloi: Whenever two people argue over something, yell out "OBJECTION" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like.
@Elifcello: Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.
@Shock_Monster: Frozen pizza recalled? The government appears to have changed tactics to combat drug users: Legalize pot, but take away their food.