@mdob11: Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
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@Izianikapani: Construction sites are dangerous places. I nearly blacked out holding in my stomach as I walked past one.
@TheRolo: [Rumpelstiltskin comes to take first born son] "Give me what you promised unless you can guess my name" Here "Aren't you going to guess?"
@Brampersandon_: [hospital] *crying* Jim it's your turn to change the baby *picks up baby* -Ok brb *comes back holding a black baby* -I think they're onto us