@mdob11: Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kcmoore51: Me: I made you a playlist... Her: OMG! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC! Me: It only has songs about food.
@Manda_like_wine: Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.
@Fickle_Filly: You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley.
@GoldenSpirals: Coworker sneezed, and said "Oh my. I don't know where that came from." I'm no Scientist, but I'm pretty sure it came from her nose.