@Kirangandhi: HORROR STORY- U are the only one alive in a post apocalyptic world. U tweet and it gets retweeted!
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@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822
@Smug_Lemur: The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation.
@JElvisWeinstein: People belittle the internet "talking about a dress" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise.
@Leslie_Annie: 8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well.