@DamonHunzeker: Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater.
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@dorkwing_duck: [PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever
@delusions_of: My arm bone's connected to my hand bone. My hand bone's connected to a bacon cheeseburger.