To everyone out there suffering from anxiety: you are not alone there’s someone behind you
You Might Also Like
Don’t be sad dirty dishes, nobody’s doing me either.
Do kids eat more under quarantine?
Since we stocked the house with food, my son is taking to eating like he’s being personally challenged.
My girlfriend does not want to split the gallon of milk I smuggled into the movie theater for us 😔
Dead
Alive
Other✔
“No matter what it is, two chews and a swallow is all you need. Efficiency is the key…”
~Dogs probably
So, I went to look into this Eat Clean Bro thing, I accidentally put in Eat Bro Clean and well, that is a different kind of diet.
—How do you care for your mental health?
Me with my best frens:
6y/o: Mommy, do you know what a Ouija board is?
Me: Yes.
6y/o: Let’s get one so we can talk to you later.
saying goodnight to the group chat only to go to the other group chat with 27 of the same people
When I run into an old friend, and I have no idea what they’ve been up to, I just say, “I love your podcast.” Haven’t been wrong yet.
Does anybody want a cat? Free to a good or average home
I was overcharged by a plumber!
So, I’ve been secretly training a gorilla to roll barrels at people.
Tomorrow, we’re kidnapping his girl.
Batman: Use this spotlight to call me.
Robin: What if it’s daytime?
Batman: *glares at Robin*
Gordon: Yeah, what if it-
Batman: *smoke bomb*
They also CAN sing✌️
Comets are just rocks that are like really really mad at you.
So I purchased the baby oil, now, how do I get it in the baby?
1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it’s Colin
i just went through my sons belongings and i think he might be cheating at chess
Why didn’t I go pee earlier.
– My tombstone
grandchild: when did you know you were gonna marry grandpa?
me: when the dude brought 4 different slices of cheesecake on the second date.
Wonder Woman 2: Wonder Woman goes to Costco. She pulls apart 2 shopping carts that are stuck together. Costco shoppers amazed. Roll credits.
God: you’re a fire ant.
Fire Ant: what does that mean?
God: when you bite something it burns like fire.
Fire Ant: [gasp] you mean I’m a dragon?
God: what-no.
Fire Ant: i’m the teensiest dragon!
They said no texting while driving but they never said anything about giving four ferrets a nice bubble bath
I love the National Park Service.
I’ve had a few people tell me I should start an OF but honestly, you could just peel a potato at home and get the same outcome.
I’m not wrong
The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do.
Mom was disappointed there were no fights on her flight. I gave her some tips for the return flight.
My wife’s left me for being too clingy & needy.😢
No wait, she’s back. She hadn’t left me, she was just making a cup of tea.God I missed her.
Don’t be fooled by American Airlines, it is just one airline