@Bownuggets: HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER
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@El_nacho_Nigre: "Gotta wake up early" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*
@causticbob: If you have a choice between ugly or fat, remember this. You can turn the lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark.
@ehchino: [First date] So what do you do for a living? "I'm a florist" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?
@Social_Mime: Every day I'm hoping is the day we find out why Beth from FB had enough but didn't want to talk about it.