@thepunningman: Hot mothers in your area want you to text them to let them know you got home ok.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Just for once I wanna be able to say "It wasn't my fault" without 4 people breaking down why it was my fault
@littlelady899: But were you called "dream wife" on the internet today? Oh, you were. By the same guy? I see.
@mrbuster60: "My uncle is a dead person guy". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician