@thepunningman: Hot mothers in your area want you to text them to let them know you got home ok.
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@jannable9: I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
@AGreaterMonster: LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub.
@bourgeoisalien: if ghosts r real why are there no dinosaur ghosts? think about that, but u won't bc i just blew your mind with something called logic, idiot
@McKnightyBoo: My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids