@thepunningman: Hot mothers in your area want you to text them to let them know you got home ok.
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@aveuaskew: When my evening plans are ruined, I pay it forward by texting "I'm pregnant" to random numbers.
@charliedelta7: I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge.
@Mr_Kapowski: Advertised as a "Cougar Cruise" Reality - Weight loss cruise where live cougars are released & you spend your vacation fleeing large cats
@kenwhacksit: I received a call from a charity asking me to donate clothes for starving people. Anyone who can fit into my clothes isn't starving!