@dulcetry: Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!
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@AndyAsAdjective: Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*
@Landon8426: Setting a teachers salary based on student performance is akin to paying a zookeeper based on how well the monkeys are behaving.