@Slave_4_U: Hot single senior citizens in your area need air conditioning.
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@jake_lach: Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old
@AlexvanBeek: You should feel pretty honoured if I subtweet you. But the tweet you think is about you, probably isn't. Twitter's hard. Get a helmet.
@robdelaney: Haha my cousin's safeword is "chalice." (We don't have sex; I saw it cuz I hacked his email to get his salmon casserole recipe)