@ElizaBayne: HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE
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@Jeff_G_Nixon: [barber shop] BARBER: what can we do for you today? MEDUSA: well.. [removes hat] BARBER: MEDUSA: BARBER: so do you want more or less snakes?
@AnOrangeSNES: ME: Sometimes I feel like I'm in a bad tweet NARRATOR: And he was ME: I see you NARRATOR: He could see me ME: Stop NARRATOR: I did not stop
@AristotlesNZ: Whenever I'm picking up my wife I skid to a stop by her & yell "Come with me if you want to live!" so she knows she married pure awesomeness