@ElizaBayne: HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE
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@SteelFontana: When you have "very happily married" in your bio, we read that as "DM me about my other secret account 'cause my spouse watches this one."
@StellaGMaddox: 5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it.
@WilliamAder: Auto correct changed "mingle" to "mangle," and now I've been uninvited to a Superbowl party.