@ElizaBayne: HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE
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@JTQuest: Men think of arguments as single isolated events. Women, in my experience, think of them as installments in some sort of perpetual continuum
@imchriskelly: i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it
@KalvinMacleod: Baby sharks can hunt for food as soon as they are born and my children cannot find their underwear drawer.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I don't know about your cat but mine is an absolute angel MY CAT: *releases one of the hostages*