@ToxicProbably: Hot singles in my area have heard about me and are moving to other areas
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@badbanana: Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance.
@WildeThingy: Freddie Mercury: "Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: "Perfect!" *snorts another line of coke*
@MariyaAlexander: Whenever people say they're willing to do "whatever it takes" to "make it in Hollywood" they never mean "patiently work on their craft".