@dxblarssonENG: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE RAISING A CAT ARMY.
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@chelliet22: Winter. When trees are bare, and you can see into your neighbor's yard, and omg, that's Mrs. Hood's body he's putting into their fire pit!
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@Jerrypleasure: (1st day as a doctor) Me:No heartbeat Nurse:Sir,heart is on left side Me:Ohh,is it Patient:(Staring at me as if I had kissed his wife)
@TheToddWilliams: "It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people.