@sarousti: Hot tip: Apparently it's frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest
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@myvisable: If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.
@KyleMcDowell86: ME: I need to return this blender WALMART EMPLOYEE: Why? ME:(thinking about how i broke it trying to blend rocks to make sand) "Its haunted"
@ElleOhHell: HORSE WEARING EARBUDS: *walks into bar* BARTENDER: Why the long fa-- HORSE: CAN I GET AN APPLETINI?