@matt___nelson: [Hot Wheels cars zooming through entire house] "I SWEAR TO GOD KAREN IF YOU DISCONNECT ANY PART OF THIS TRACK I'M DIVORCING YOU"
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@crunchenhanced: Fun tip: Go to carnivals, scatter nuts and bolts around rides to cut down on wait times. *thumbs up*
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@sarcasticmommy4: When I tell my kids I'll do something in a minute, what I'm really saying is, "Please forget."
@Brampersandon_: KID: I'm starting to feel like I'll never find a Coke with my name on it MOM: Just keep looking, Dangquestrious