@matt___nelson: [Hot Wheels cars zooming through entire house] "I SWEAR TO GOD KAREN IF YOU DISCONNECT ANY PART OF THIS TRACK I'M DIVORCING YOU"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RandomlyMJ: Falling for someone from Twitter is as intelligent as trying to give yourself a lobotomy with a sharpened jelly donut.
@90spideypool: when you're jamming to an old-school r&b song and someone older than you ask "what you know about this?" me:
@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"