@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: Hotel beds are often all the proof I need that Satan owns a mattress factory.
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@SirEviscerate: OSTRICH: *buries head in sand* ANTELOPE: You're crazy! OSTRICH: Shut your mouth and help me bury the rest of him. I'm NOT going back to jail
@ch000ch: call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call.
@mattingebretson: As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say "please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"