@robfee: Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.
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@NYC_Blonde: If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid.
@JermHimselfish: It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store.
@daemonic3: [CSI at Starbucks] "Ma'am you've been robbed. Suspect is at large." Barista: At what? "At large" At what? "At venti?" OMG HOW AWFUL!!!
@jakob_huber: You'd think Bowser would start locking the front door of his castle after the first time Mario just walked right in like he owned the joint.