@robfee: Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.
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@markedly: MANAGER: You're hired! The pay is $200 per hour, plus benefits. The first thing you need to do is make a phone call to-- ME: I quit
@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
@flaskofwhiskeyy: My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup.